In Search Of A ... Good Hard Laugh!

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Farmfresh
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Joined: Sat Oct 25, 2014 6:19 pm
Location: Missouri
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Re: In Search Of A ... Good Hard Laugh!

Unread post by Farmfresh » Fri Jul 13, 2018 8:50 pm

|em12|
Matthew 19:26 Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."
"Stop Dreaming About the Good Life and Start Living IT !"
Every little bit ... is a little bit.

Rhodie Ranch
Posts: 3936
Joined: Tue Nov 04, 2014 9:52 am

Re: In Search Of A ... Good Hard Laugh!

Unread post by Rhodie Ranch » Sun Jul 15, 2018 6:06 pm

MEN'S REVENGE
'Cash, check or charge?' I asked,
after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control
for a television set in her purse.
'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked.
'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused
to come shopping with me, and I figured this was
the most evil thing I could do to him legally.


WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road
for several miles not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically,
'Relatives of yours?'
'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws'

WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife
about how many words women use a day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied,
'The reason has to be because we have to
repeat everything to men.
The husband then turned to his wife
and asked, 'What?

CREATION
A man said to his wife one day,
'I don't know how you can be so stupid
and so beautiful all at the same time.
'The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about
who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, 'You should do it because you get up first,
and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.
The husband said, 'You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it because that is your job,
and I can just wait for my coffee.'
Wife replies, 'No, you should do it,
and besides it is in the Bible
that the man should do the coffee.'
Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.'
So she fetched the Bible,
opened the New Testament
and showed him at the top of several pages,
that it indeed says
'HEBREWS'

The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home
and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day
he would need his wife to wake him at 5 AM
for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE),
he wrote on a piece of paper,
'Please wake me at 5:00 AM.
He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up,
only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight
Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him,
when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.'


Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

God may have created man before woman,
but there is always a rough draft
before the masterpiece

dizzy
Posts: 7080
Joined: Mon Nov 03, 2014 5:19 am

Re: In Search Of A ... Good Hard Laugh!

Unread post by dizzy » Sun Jul 15, 2018 7:46 pm

I've heard it as He made a proto type first.

Did you ever notice that many of the problems women face starts w/men? Menopause, menstrual cycle, etc.?

I have a T-shirt that says, HORSES ARE GOD'S APOLOGY FOR MEN.

patriceinil
Posts: 9199
Joined: Mon Aug 03, 2015 9:49 pm
Location: Illinois

Re: In Search Of A ... Good Hard Laugh!

Unread post by patriceinil » Mon Jul 16, 2018 12:55 am

:lol:

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Dragonlaurel
Posts: 1459
Joined: Sun Nov 09, 2014 2:15 am
Location: Orlando, Fl

Re: In Search Of A ... Good Hard Laugh!

Unread post by Dragonlaurel » Mon Jul 16, 2018 3:12 am

Guys don't know how useless it is to fight with us. We will win sooner or later.
"I pledge allegiance to the Earth, and to the flora, fauna, and human life it supports, one planet, indivisible, with safe air, water and soil, economic justice, equal rights, and peace for all" - WEDO

User avatar
Farmfresh
Posts: 13333
Joined: Sat Oct 25, 2014 6:19 pm
Location: Missouri
Contact:

Re: In Search Of A ... Good Hard Laugh!

Unread post by Farmfresh » Mon Jul 16, 2018 7:33 am

|em12| |em26| |em12|

|em23|


If mama ain't happy... well you know the rest.
Matthew 19:26 Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."
"Stop Dreaming About the Good Life and Start Living IT !"
Every little bit ... is a little bit.

Rhodie Ranch
Posts: 3936
Joined: Tue Nov 04, 2014 9:52 am

Re: In Search Of A ... Good Hard Laugh!

Unread post by Rhodie Ranch » Wed Aug 29, 2018 9:55 am

Church Bulletin typos:
.Coming Up--Theological Open House. We discuss thought-provoking topics. Your opinions are hardly welcome.
.All singles are invited to join us Friday at 7 p.m.for the annual Christmas Sing-alone."
.Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and the community.
.For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
.This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
.Tuesday at 4:00p.m. there will be and ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
.This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an eggon the altar.
.Next Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward to get a piece of paper.
.The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement on Friday.
.A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" --come early and listen to our choir practice.

patriceinil
Posts: 9199
Joined: Mon Aug 03, 2015 9:49 pm
Location: Illinois

Re: In Search Of A ... Good Hard Laugh!

Unread post by patriceinil » Wed Aug 29, 2018 11:07 am

|em26|

dizzy
Posts: 7080
Joined: Mon Nov 03, 2014 5:19 am

Re: In Search Of A ... Good Hard Laugh!

Unread post by dizzy » Wed Aug 29, 2018 2:54 pm

This is a true story from when the church I grew up in.

My Dad was the song leader at times for the church. That involved not only leading the singing, but making announcements, praying for the offering, introducing special speakers, etc. One Sunday evening we had a special speaker. But, the opening part of the service went over. Instead of the usual 30 minutes, it was 45. The last thing on the program B4 the speaker was special music.

Well, my Dad really liked the number the lady sang! But, he also felt bad because the speaker now only had 15 minutes. He wanted to say something about the singer, but at the same time apologize for how long everything had taken. W/out thinking he goes up to the pulpit and says, Praise God! We only have 15 minutes left. Needless to say, he got no farther. The whole church, including the speaker erupted into laughter while he turned bright red.

patriceinil
Posts: 9199
Joined: Mon Aug 03, 2015 9:49 pm
Location: Illinois

Re: In Search Of A ... Good Hard Laugh!

Unread post by patriceinil » Wed Aug 29, 2018 3:17 pm

That’s funny dizzy, I’m sure he didn’t think so at the time it happened though.

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